Nice People: Driving Mankind To Extinction
We’re all taught to be nice to others. To treat people as we would like to be treated. Bumper stickers proclaim “Mean People Suck” and “Mean People Are Mean.” And while not terribly eloquent and...
View Article40 Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Kids
When I met my husband over eight years ago, we each had two cats – mine were female and his were male. We fell in love and, upon combining our households, became the feline version of the Brady Bunch –...
View ArticleThe Bitch Is Back…And Shinier
So the other day, I got a black eye. The first one I’ve had since I was ten years old. In 5th grade, I made the grave mistake of standing too close to an exit door at school. It was one of those...
View ArticleThe 11th Reason Why David Sedaris Won’t Marry Me
If you’ve read my previous post listing the 10 reasons why David Sedaris, the uber-talented writer and humorist, won’t marry me, you’ll be interested to know that tonight I met the object of my...
View ArticleYoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars
I’m not a cool yoga chick, a.k.a. CYC. You know, the kind you see wandering into a locally-owned coffee shop (CYCs don’t support corporations and, thus, boycott Starbucks and Dunkin’ Donuts) still...
View ArticleA Thousand People Can’t Be Wrong – A Contest For My Followers
Dear Followers of My Paltry Meanderings: As some of you may know, last week I hit a bit of a milestone. And not with my car. That was a wall and it’s really just a tiny scratch. I always thought four...
View ArticlePart Deux – Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars
This is Part II of my two-part post, Yoga Is Not A Character In Star Wars. If you haven’t read Part I of this series, click here now. Or what? I’ll kick you, that’s what! *** When I saw my reflection...
View ArticleYou Can’t Fix Stupid
ignorant: (adj) lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated stupid: (adj) lacking intelligence or common sense; can’t be fixed dumb-ass: (adj) see stupid - Oxford...
View ArticleThe Short, Sad Life of Vibrator Girl
I don’t recall how the discussion of vibrators arose. Only that it came up while I was riding home on a sweltering school bus filled to the gills with students of every age – as is often the case with...
View ArticleAward Posts Make Me Want To Become A Ward Of The State Penitentiary
I’m a terrible person. If Jennifer Aniston had married me (which would have been creepy because she doesn’t have a penis), when we finally divorced and I posed for photos with Angelina Jolie (not...
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